Is your child stressed out? Some people think only adults experience stress, but it affects our children too. Here’s how to help your child manage their emotions.
We often view our kids as happy-go-lucky beings without a care. But children can also experience stress. Not only do they get anxious about things in their own young world–school, friends, peer pressure–but they also can be deeply affected by outside factors such as war, natural disasters and other unsettling world events.
In fact, the list of contributors to childhood stress can be quite long. Many stressors are the result of family problems, like divorce, a death or a parent’s job loss but there are also less obvious triggers such as moving to a new city or the birth of a new sibling.
As a parent, you can become attuned to what’s a normal amount of anxiety for your child and what is not. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, use the following tools to help your child handle it better.
Tuning into Anxiety Attack symptoms
1. Tune in to their moods.
Pay attention to your child’s behavior. Take the time to talk to your child to get to the root of the problem. Ask questions like “How are you feeling?” “What’s happening at school?” or “How are things with your friends?”
When you show concern for their problems and issues, it’s reassuring to them and they’ll be more responsive to that attention.
2. Watch the same shows they do.
If you have younger children, you certainly don’t want them watching the doom and gloom of daily news shows. Children’s minds are like sponges in they absorb almost everything they see or hear.
They are especially sensitive to negative energy, pain or suffering. Shows like the news can be traumatizing and anxiety-producing for younger children.
It’s important to discuss with them what they’ve seen. You can’t tell them that it’s never going to happen to them but you can say,”We’re going to do everything we can to protect you”. It’s also a good idea to let them know whom to call and what to do in case of an emergency.
3. Focus on the positive.
There is obviously no way a child can be shielded from a major trauma such as a death in the family, a house fire or a natural disaster. Instead, help children count their blessings. Comfort and reassure them by saying, “We’re strong and we’re going to make it.” “And as difficult as it may be, try to maintain everyday routines.
For many young victims of floods or fire, for example, going back to school, even in another city, can help bring some normalcy back to their disrupted lives. What can also help is to make sure children have positive outlets like physical activity, going to the movies or spending time with friends.
4. Lead by example.
Children often learn to deal with stress by mimicking how you respond in challenging times. Even if you don’t tell your child that you’re about to be laid off from your job or that you’re worried that your marriage is on the verge of breaking up, they can still pick up on your stress.
They may not understand the underlying causes but they can hear the strained tone and elevated volume of your voice,which gives them the message that something is going on that may affect them too.
That’s why it’s so important to show them good coping skills. If you light a cigarette, have a drink, or use foul language when you’re under pressure, your little one may internalize that as a coping method.
Instead, model healthy behavior during difficult times, such as writing in a journal, de-stressing in a hot bath, sharing how you feel without blaming, or taking a walk.
5. Instill confidence.
When children are young, there are times when you will have to come to their defense and help them handle tough situations. But as they get older, you also have to let them champion themselves, which builds their confidence in their ability to resolve problems on their own.
One of your missions as a parent is to know when to step in and when to stand back. Your response will depend on the child’s temperament, maturity and the situation.
For example, your third grader may be able to confront a taunting classmate on their own, but a serious case of bullying may warrant your intervention.
Still, always make sure your child knows you’ve got their back. Tell them, “Try it on your own first,but if you need help, let me know and I’ll be there.”
To Your Great Life and Health…
About The Author
Michael Atma is an internationally known author, speaker & success coach. Known as the person to talk to when you’re ready to enjoy massive results, Michael offers simple yet proven strategies to improve the quality of your life in just minutes. Michael’s writing comes straight from the front line of good health and successful living
Michael Atma had helped thousands of people to enjoy the benefits of natural stress relief that meditation brings. Michael has developed “The Ultimate Relaxation Program” which includes his highly acclaimed stress relief CD – The Ultimate Relaxation!
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March 5th, 2008 at 10:58 am
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March 6th, 2008 at 9:54 am
That is a good idea. I never thought about meditation for children; it is usually something associated with adults, but it is worth trying if you have an extremely stressed out child. Thank you for your comment!